IF AN ASP IN THE GRASS IS A SNAKE.
HOW COME A GRASP OF THE ASS IS A GOOSE??

WHY DO THEY STERILIZE NEEDLES FOR LEATHAL INJECTIONS??

IF YOU CHOKE A SMURF, WHAT COLOR DOES HE TURN??

IF YOU O.D. ON VIAGRA, HOW DO THEY CLOSE THE COFFIN??

A husband returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While enroute to his home he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The husband suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.

Quietly arriving at his house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put a gun next to the naked man's head. The wife shouted, " Don't do it.! This man has been very generous ! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for the Screaming Eagle bagger and for our new cabin cruiser, he paid for your season Packer tickets, he paid for our house at the lake, he paid for our Country Club membership and our trips to Sturgis every year.

Shaking his head from side to side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, " What would you do??
The cabby said, " I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches a cold."